My Children hate me.....The feeling is mutual....

It's not easy being Dad... I'm sure all of you men out there can sympathize.
Let me walk you through the average day Ladies.....
The alarm goes off early...6ish...maybe earlier.
You bust your ass all day with no lunch break...
You eyeball that clock throughout the afternoon....
THAN.......
The work is done, and it's time to go home!!!!!
You fight the traffic...
You dream of the dinner your adoring wife has prepared for you....
BUT.....
You have forgotten something...
THEY WILL BE THERE TOO.....
Who are they????
Well here THEY are!!!

I'm sure most of you are enamored by the cuteness factor. Let me tell you though...
IT WEARS OFF PRETTY QUICK.....
There has to be a pretty deep rooted hatred living inside of these children. They see me, and they know that the fun is now over.
They look at me and are probably thinking one of the following things...

1. FUCK!!!!! Now we have to watch Baseball, Bassikiball, Jeopardy, Family Feud, Seinfeld reruns or The Running Man (only if he's lucky enough to have that being run on HBO)...


2. SHIT!!!! Now we aren't allowed into the kitchen to beg for food, repel off of Mommy's legs, reach our hands into the sink to play with dirty dishes, hide in the pot and pan cupboard or point at the jelly bean jar!

3. If this ASSHOLE makes me watch the Dodgers one more time... I'LL SHIT IN THE BATHTUB!!!

These children OBVIOUSLY have no idea how hard I work. Here is a list of things that my money goes to....

1. THEM....
2. END OF LIST.....

UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!

You would think that they would appreciate those expensive, gluten free chicken nuggets!!!
BUT NOOOOOOO!!!!
They want to break them up into small pieces and get the breading all over the place!!

Than you have these "men" who are constantly doing whatever they can to prepare themselves for their Father Of The Year speech...
There children aren't little BASTARDS....
They have spirit.....
There children aren't FUCKING BRATS!!!!!
They just know what they want...
BULLSHIT!!!!!

There are times where I wished I lived in one of these "new age" households. That way I could be an object of my children's affections. I could teach them about sensitivity, and caring. They would look at me as a role model on how to interact with the people around us. A home where they were allowed to "express" themselves. If they felt like smearing their feces on a wall, or climbing on my shelving unit, or smearing there grubby hands on my LCD, it would be OK....
Why is that???
They would love me, that's why....
Maybe even as much as they love there Mom.


There would be more moments like this.....



and that.......

You know what.....

FUCK THAT!!!!!

I will except the fact that I was put on this earth to teach them discipline and accountability.
I will accept the fact that it is my RESPONSIBILITY to make them hard working, respectable human beings....
If either of my children turn out to be one of the people I bitch about in this blog.....
THAN WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME???????

Not much.

Don't really want to take that chance...
What would you guys, my loyal subjects think?????

Whatever, you can all rot slowly for all I care...