Today I didn't have to use my A.K...

7:00AM
Wake up, stare at ceiling fan. Realize I've got morning wood.

7:01AM
After explaining that our children are awake, and she's half asleep, I stumble to the shower.

7:02AM
Ann falls back to sleep.

7:04AM
The water is now sufficiently hot enough. I soak in the hot steaming water.

7:11AM
I realize I've been standing there motionless, and commence bathing ritual.

7:18AM
Dry myself off. Q-Tips, deodorant, toothpaste.....

7:20AM
Grab work clothes. Grab Keys, wallet, glasses, laptop.

7:23AM
Wake Ann up. Say goodbye. Tell her I love her.

7:23:25AM
Ann asks me to get TJ out of bed.

7:24AM
Open TJ's door. Gag at the scent of his shitty diaper.

7:24:36 AM
Grab wipees. This one's gonna be a doozy.

7:25AM
Remove diaper. Gasp in awe. I wonder how someone snuck the inside of a bean burrito into my son's drawers.

7:28AM
Finish wiping. Run to outside trashcan. Wash hands.

7:31AM
Might as well stay for coffee. Anyways.....Barney's on.

7:47AM
Leave house. Back up van. Turn on Dan Patrick Show.

8:17AM
Start working......

9:36AM
Eat Lunch Ann made for me. What the hell am I going to eat at lunchtime?

9:59AM
Jim Rome is on. It's all good clones...

11:33AM
Drive Thru Chick Fil A.
I should've ordered the charbroiled with the wheat bun.
I'm a sucker for anything battered and deep fried.

11:58AM
Ann sends me a text message, asking when I'm going to be home.
I tell her I don't know.

12:36PM
Receive emergency page from customer. There machine is going to explode if I don't get there in 5 minutes.

12:40:58 PM
Open back door to kitchen of Ma and Pa Indian restaurant. This ain't going to be pretty.

12:42PM
Lay down in pile of 3 week old Chicken Vindaloo with extra spicy curry sauce. Control gag reflex. Swallow bile. Change motor.

12:48PM
Brush cockroaches off of my chest.

1:21PM
Call Ann to say Hi. She doesn't answer.

2:19 PM
Ann calls me back. She just exercised and showered. Tells me how lucky I am to have adult conversation during the day. I tell her the cockroach didn't have much to say....and I don't speak Indian.

2:47PM
Ann asks when I'm coming home, via text message.

4:17PM
Pull up to last call, I'm almost FREE!!!!!!!

4:59PM
I'm headed home!!!

5:39pm
I'm pulling into the driveway!!!!!!!

5:40PM
Receive emergency page from customer. Apparently the dishwasher is shooting hot, flaming spears at there customers, and it's all my fault.

6:31PM
ACTUALLY.....
The machine wasn't plugged in.

7:17PM
Get home, TJ is in bed. Ava is watching Sesame Street, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Caillou, Special Agent Oso, or something else totally lame.

7:29PM
Ava goes to bed. I pour a LARGE glass of wine.

7:42PM
Ann asks me if I'm going to write in my blog...I say No.

7:45PM
After to listening to some ideas on what I should blog about, I start typing.

8:27PM
Ann reads blog and tells me I'm so funny.
I agree with her.

8:46PM
Start watching TV. Hopefully it's Lost night, and not VH1 reality night.

9:59PM
Should we go to bed, or open another bottle of wine and watch Celebrity Rehab?

10:01PM
Hellloooo Dr. Drew.....

10:46PM
Head to bed.

10:49PM
What happens next depends on the night..
MIND YER OWN BUSINESS...

10:50PM
I got mine....
You best get yours.....

10:51PM
Fall asleep thinking that I'm a pretty lucky guy.

10:52PM
Ann elbows me and tells me to roll over because I'm snoring.

10:53PM
Kiss goodnight, and cuddle under the covers...
Until I pass gas.

10:54PM
Pleasant dreams Trav.