The HOLY SHIT AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our first award goes to a big star on the small screen. She's appeared in Desperate Housewives, Melrose Place, and who can forget her riveting performance in BAD INFLUENCE with James Spader and Rob Lowe....
The winner of the HOLY SHIT!!!!! I've got a Fivehead, not a forehead award is.....
MARCIA CROSS!!!!!
Look at that fucking FIVEHEAD!!!!! It's smooth, silky, vast....You could film a battle scene from Braveheart on it!!!
Congratulations Marcia!!!
Oh there's more awards to hand out people! The next award goes to an amazing college basketball player at Gonzaga. He was drafted in the first round. He sits on the bench (in street clothes) for the Lakers...
The winner of the HOLY SHIT!!!!!I'm the ugliest athlete ever award is.....
ADAM MORRISON!!!!!
Congrats Adam!!! Oh wait, he's a little overwhelmed and emotional by this award, he needed to be helped off the stage after his acceptance speech....
It's OK Adam!! Relish the moment!!! Soak it in!!!!
Our next celebrity is truly one of a kind. She starred in A League of there own with that whore Madonna. Who could forget her groundbreaking performance with Richard Dreyfus, AND Emilio Estevez in Another Stakeout? Did I mention she is a RAGING bull dike????
The winner of the HOLY SHIT!!!! I've been hit in the face with a BOAT OAR......
ROSIE O' DONNELL!!!!!!
For the record, the aforementioned OAR, is here to accept with her...
Take a bow you two!!!! Uh Oh!!!! Looks like Joaquin Phoenix is a little upset about not getting the win. There's always next time buddy!!!
Well keep your eyes open for our next broadcast people!!! Hope you enjoyed the HOLY SHIT awards!!!!!!
The boat oar?? Good God, you nailed it!!!
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