Straight, Gay or Bi...It's not that FUCKING COMPLICATED!!!!!

My God people... What is wrong with this world? There was this great book invented a little while ago, called the DICTIONARY (You caught me, I like to break a mental sweat too). Inside it, you can look up words in alphabetical order, and it says what the words mean.
Here's a language lesson assholes....
I'm not going to get all clever, and google the definition of these words, and cut and paste it into my rant, so I'm paraphrasing. This is what I believe to be the definitions of these words...

Gay Guy- A guy who fucks, sucks, strokes or makes out with other guys. If you are alone at night and you masturbate thinking about any of the aforementioned actions, with men, than you are probably a gay guy.
Gay Girl- A girl who likes to mow down on other girls. A girl who likes to fondle and make out with other girls.
Bisexual- Someone who just doesn't care who they're fucking. It's all good!! Hooray!!! I'm so cool, I have no inhibitions!!!
Straight Guy- Let's girls blow them. Likes banging chicks. Like Breasts.
Straight Girl- Likes to get railroaded by a straight guy. Likes to shop with a gay guy.

I'm sure I missed a few, but you get the idea.

I live in Arizona now, but spent my whole life in California. We would always go to this bar called "Rocks". It was not a real hip, trendy spot. It was a fucking dump.

This dump, had dollar drinks every Thursday night. Needless to say, the boundaries between these very basic definitions were blurred by cheap Vodka and Bud Light. We had some female friends who would make out with each other. Hell, one time a couple of them mowed down on each other in the parking lot. Right in front of my friend Mike!

They weren't Gay though. They weren't Bi either.

HUH??????What the hell are they than?

According to my Wife......They were just looking for attention from men. OKAY...

So, they're straight, but they act gay, so they can have a chance at having a straight experience, so there Bi, straight, maybe gay????????????

UPON FURTHER REVIEW............
Read the definitions people. They are fucking BI. It black and white. You fuck around with both sexes........ YER BI!!!!!!!
I know there's a lot of reallllllllly cool and smart people who don't like to get hampered down by labels (fucking hippies), and just want to enjoy different experiences, and don't care about crossing any lines regarding there sexuality.

WELL GOOD FOR YOU....YOU AREN'T COOL, SMART, OR FORWARD THINKING..

YOU ARE FUCKING BI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm straight, my wife is straight, those girls at Rocks are Bi, and Ellen DeGeneres is gay. It is not that complicated.

Don't start spreading a bunch of bullshit about me being prejudiced against non straight people. Gay Guys can blow all the men they want! Gay Girls can make tortillas all night long!

Bi people can do all of the above....

Fucking Bisexuals....Choose a side already! Alright, I guess I hate Bisexuals.