Just _____________ASSFACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (part one)

Look everybody, I know times are tough. Times are tough for everybody, especially people who work in sales......Like Me...
You've got to struggle, and claw for every dollar. Every sale, no matter how small, is extremely important.
I'll never forget what they taught us at my orientation. The most important job in the world is a professional salesperson, because all we do is help people. Let me tell you something though......
NOT ALL SALESPEOPLE GOT THE MEMO......
The one thing that I pride myself on, is that I don't sell shit to people that they don't need.
NOT ALL SALESPEOPLE GOT THIS MEMO EITHER........
Like a lot of other housewives out there, my wife clips coupons to save us some money. We needed to get the car washed, so she went online and found us a coupon. We could get our SUV washed for $7.99 if we showed up before 10am for an early bird special. SO....We finished breakfast and loaded up the kids.

We pull up to the car wash, and before the car wash guy can write up our ticket, some other dick walks up to my window. Apparently it's a pretty ballsy move to show up at a car wash with a chip on your windshield. He's giving me his pitch, which totally sucked, telling me that my insurance would cover it, and I wouldn't pay a dime. He managed to squeeze all of this in before I could say, "It's all ready fixed."

I'm not buying this free shit either. Whens the last time you called an insurance company, and got off the phone not paying money????? NEVER!!!! That's because Insurance companies make a killing on selling you something that you don't need!!!! I hear, pay me $500 a month, juuuuuuuuust in case something goes wrong. When it does go wrong, we'll tell you to fuck off anyways!!! What a fucking scam!!!

So anyways, I finally get the Chip guy off my ass, and the car wash guy comes up with the ticket. I'm on the defensive, so I hand him the coupon and tell him that's all I want. NOTHING ELSE.....

I made a big mistake though.......

I asked him a question about car washing, sort of a more complicated question..A question that could lead him into... AN UP SELL!!!!!

I asked him how I could get the hard water stains off the side of the car. He looked and told me that their Gold Supra Extra Premium Galaxy Platinum Ultra Package would do the trick. I asked him how much it was, and he delivered the price without even batting an eye, or chuckling to himself while he said it.

$125....

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR A CAR WASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After my heart started beating again, I said no thank you, and walked inside to pay. I wanted to ask him something though. Do you think the guy in the Ford Explorer, with a wife and 2 kids, a UFC sticker on the back, obviously not intelligent enough to park further away from the sprinklers, and a coupon for $7.99 is really going to pay $125 for a wash!! Seriously, was I going to pony up an extra $117.01 for a car wash. Balls people...This guy had a lot of balls.

We escaped into the lounge. I thought I was free.

NO WAY ASSHOLE!!!!!

They have TOYS at the car wash. I have children, and they happen to love toys!!!! So there putting there little, grubby hands all over this shit. I was in total awe. No wonder they were handing out $7.99 car washes!! They want you to do your Christmas Shopping there too!

I couldn't believe all of the blatant, used car salesman tactics!!!The experience made me want to scream.....

JUST WASH MY CAR ASSFACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is going to be a new series on the blog. Some future entries may or may not include.....

Just change my brake pads ASSFACE!!!!!!!
Just let me grab my own paper towel ASSFACE!!!!!!
Just let me look for furniture ASSFACE!!!!!!!
Just let me order ASSFACE!!!!!!!

Later Slugs....